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Saturday, January 16, 2016

One Week Home

Whew!  This week has seriously flown by.  I can proudly say my luggage is all put away and I am mostly caught up on laundry.  Right now that feels like a pretty big accomplishment!   

When we adopted Ramya we had so much support in the way of help with the house every-other-week and meals every-other-day.  This time David had to go back to work the day after we returned from India and we aren't very connected in Tucson yet so life picked right back up very quickly.  We did have a few dinner gift cards to use, though, so we were able to order carryout a few nights, which helped.

Deena is adjusting really well and keeps us laughing.  She hates the bird and does not want it close to her, so that can be interesting, but I think eventually she will decide the bird is fun.  She mostly wants to be held or sit on my lap.  She likes me to be constantly within view and if I walk out of view I hear, "mommmmmmyyyyyyyy where arrrrrre yooooouuu".  I know the security is really important for her right now so I try to just stay close or take her with me if I need to leave the room. 

The other 3 kiddos are enjoying having Deena home.  Madi is constantly telling her that she's her best friend.  Deena and Conner really bonded in India and love playing together.  Conner told me that he thought he wanted a brother, but he's glad we adopted Deena and that he has another sister.  He's such a sweet boy and is so gentle and loving with her.  Ramya enjoys playing with her and enjoys having her home but is struggling the most with the change.  In general, I think Ramya just really struggles with her confidence and knowing who she is in this world, but obviously any time we go through change it spirals her again.  I see this divide with Ramya between what she defaults to and what she wants to be.  She wants affection, but pushes us away, sometimes quite literally.  It's like the desire is there but there's a divide and she just can't put that guard down.  She defaults to harsh words and intentionally pushing buttons, but seems like she doesn't want to act like that and knows it's not right.  She can be so very sweet too and I'm thankful for those moments. Any time there's change she stops wanting to eat again and uses food for control, even though she will say she is hungry and she likes the food.  I know she's had a lot of hurt in the past and I pray that one day she will be able to let herself fully feel love and joy; let herself see how special she is.  It breaks my heart that she is only 9 and doesn't have that childhood innocence.  No child should ever have to grow up feeling unloved or unworthy.  It saddens me that there are so many other children out there feeling that way.  For now we have been trying to give her extra love and time and have been talking a lot about how we will always love her, and how our hearts grow bigger to love Deena too, but that it doesn't change how we feel about her.  David took her out shopping with him today and I know she enjoyed her time alone with him.

Deena still prefers me but is warming up to David as well.  She asked him to hold her a few times this week and tonight she went over and cuddled with him.  She even gave him a few kisses and told him that she loves him.  It melts my heart to see them together!
Today we went shopping for some new pants for Deena.  I wasn't anticipating her coming home with a cast on, so many of the pants I had do not fit correctly right now.  I had some Gymboree bucks and was able to get her some new size 4T leggings with wider bottoms that will fit over her cast.  She did pretty well at the store and enjoyed running in to Bare Minerals with me because she got to put on some pink lipstick.  She also found a pair of sunglasses at Gymboree and was very excited!
Of course she's mastered the art of the selfie and my phone will never be the same again.  She loves taking pictures of herself!

Next week we start homeschooling and I think she will do well.  She is very bright!  This week we did a few science experiments from a kit the kids got as a gift for Christmas and she is enjoying them. 

Please be praying we can get her on our insurance before her first orthopedic surgeon appointment next month.  We need to start PAM infusions with her and she may need some rodding surgeries in her near future as well.  She also handed me a piece of her tooth the other day so I need to get her to the dentist ASAP.  We have some big expenses coming up and it would be really helpful to have her on our insurance!

A big "thank you" to everyone who has been praying for us and following our journey.  It really  means so much! 


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