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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The story of a little girl

(See links at the bottom of the page for adoption updates)

I have a story to tell, one that I think must be told.  It is the story of a little girl, though not the one you would think.  This is the story of a little girl I have never met, but who has impacted my life so greatly that it will forever be changed.  A few weeks back I got an e-mail from someone who found my blog when she was Googling to find information on Spina Bifida.  There was a little girl in India in desperate need of a family who had spina bifida.  The woman who contacted me was thinking about adopting her and had many questions about what life looks like when you have a child with spina bifida.  She had asked if she could call me to discuss her questions.  Of course I said yes, but we never got that far.  She had thoroughly reviewed this little girl's file and had decided that her family could not handle this little one's medical issues because of the severe medical issues their other child has.  I think it is wonderful that they even considered it, and that she and her family took the time to thoroughly research what they would need to do in order to be the family this little girl needs.  She was not meant to be part of their family, and that's ok.  God has a child in mind for them, and they will be amazing parents to whatever child God brings in their life. 

This little girl, however, does need a family, and time is running out.  You see, this little girl, just 3 years old, has urinary issues, just like my Madi.  However, unlike Madi, she is not able to be given the care she needs to deal with them.  Because of this, she keeps getting urinary tract infections (UTIs).  Her latest turned in to a kidney infection and hospitalization.  This little girl is very sick and shouldn't be.  What she is dealing with should just be part of her every day "normal" care.  Instead, she is sick, when my little girl is thriving, because she does not have access clean catheters and prophilactic antibiotics (and other suppliments) to deal with her renal reflux.  She is sick because the orphanage carrying for her has no way to give her the care she needs, as much as their hearts long to.  She is sick.  Madi is thriving.  It just does not seem fair.  And, to top it all off, if she continues down this road, she will die without ever knowing the love of a family.  She is also has limited time to find a family before she goes unadoptable internationally, and has less than 30 days left.

So what do you do when you hear there is a child that is very sick, and you can give her the help she needs?  What do you do when the things that scare other people about her care are just a part of your normal day-to-day life?  We started by asking a lot of questions, yet the answer always seemed to be the same.  You try.  You do not worry about the future, because no one knows what the future holds.  You do not worry about what others will think and if they will call you crazy, because a life is more important that that.   You do not question if you can do it, because God would not put this child in your heart and in your life, then walk away from you.  You try, because you are not making a difference in the life of a child, you are making THE difference in the life of a child.  You try.  God will work out the details. 

David and I decided to put in a pre-adoption application and just see what happens.  Amazingly, it was David's decision.  I was talking to him about her and telling him I couldn't get her off of my mind.  I told him I was very worried about her.  He told me we should put in the application and see if they would even let us have her.  Wow, I was taken back.  David has never been quick to make a decision, and here he was, telling me to try.  My mom was over helping with the kiddos while I got some work done the same day.  I told her about this little angel, expecting her to tell me I was crazy.  We are too busy.  We already have one child with special needs.  We have a lot on our plates as it is.  Nope.  She said none of that.  Instead she told me that we have a great support system and that we could make it work, and she is right.  I was also expecting to hear that Madi is still very young, which is something we have thought a lot about, but an adoption through India takes two years, meaning she would be four by the time this little girl would even get to come home with us. That put things in a different perspective for us as well. 

We have been talking a lot about what life with two kiddos with special needs would look like.  I have been busy searching out families that have experience with this to talk to.  I have talked to many, and we are going to be talking to some together.  This will not be something we just jump right in to without giving it much thought.  Honestly, I think about it a lot.  I over think it.  I think about double the hospital stays and double the doctor's visits.  I think about double the therapies and double the cathings.  I think about the double liftings and the double adaptive equipment.  It seems like a lot, but doubles means something else huge.  It means this little girl is alive to experience these things.  Worrying about anything short of that just seems so insignificant. 

After submitting the pre-adoption application I learned that a few other families have expressed interest in this little girl, which is amazing.  The bottom line is this little girl needs a family that can give her the help she needs, whether that family is ours or another.  In all honesty, considering their are other families interested in adopting her, we probably will not get her, as we have not yet started the official adoption process.  Because adoptions through India take two years after you are cleared, they will most likely pick a family that is already adoption ready, and that is ok, we just had to try.  We had to know she would have a family, even if it is not ours.  But I will tell you that this little girl has taught me a lot already.  She has taught me that God has put this in our hearts and that he is calling us to adopt.  She has taught me that we are ready to open our home to another child.  She has taught me that we need to find a child we can bless in a way that other famillies are not prepared to.  She has taught me so much and shown me so much about myself, and I have never even met her.  What an amazing little girl.

I do ask of one thing from everyone who made it this far (and thank you for reading my thoughts, it really does mean a lot to me).  I would like you to pray for this little girl.  Pray that God guards her little body and kidneys from infection.  Pray that God keeps her healthy enough to go home to a family that can help her.  Pray that God does not allow her kidneys to fail her and that she lives long enough to meet her family.  Pray that the orphanage chooses the right family for her, and that the adoption happens quickly (faster than the two years it normally takes).  Pray for the other kids out there like her, and for the families that are considering adopting them. 

"And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me."
- Matthew 18:5

Update 2:  Ramya is back up for adoption:

Update 5: Arizona approval completed:

Update 6: i-800a approval:

Update 7: i-800 approval:

Waiting, waiting, waiting for our NOC!

Update 8: Our NOC is here and we are approved in India and officially matched

Update 9: Court is DONE!

Update 10:  Court paperwork received, passport application can now start:

"Maternity" Photos:

Our Adoption Story Video:

Update 11: Passport Received!:

Travel Plans:

Meeting Ramya for the first time:

Our day at the orphanage:

It's official in India:

And we are home:

A slideshow of our India adoption trip:

Ramya's first birthday home:

Ramya's adoption meet and greet:

Our re-adoption in Arizona is official:

One year home... Happy adoption day!

Two years home!



Colleen said...

I'll keep her in my prayers. I love this journey. :)

Holli said...

prayers here too. This will be another amazing journey for you even if this is not the child you were meant to be blessed with. Its beautiful that she has changed you forever just by opening your heart and leading you down this path!!!

Andy and Kiara said...

I love how you explained this! This is completely our heart as we approach another adoption. God is so gracious to teach us so much through the journey to adoption. :)

Gretchen said...

Beautiful post!


You are an amazing woman :)

Chuck and Heather said...

Amazingly written. Thank you for sharing the story! Lots of prayers for this little girl.