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Sunday, August 18, 2013

Such a hard post to type

(deep breath)

I have a post I've been putting off because it's not a happy one, and every time I think about posting, I get tears in my eyes.  I have many happy posts to post too,  but can't bring myself to post those either, because I know I just need to get this out.

These past few weeks have been stressful.  David works in the stock market and had a huge draw down on his positions.  It's the worst he's ever had.  As you can imagine, it was quite stressful for him.  We had a lot of other things going on as well keeping us busy as well. For as long as I've known David, he's had anxiety.  It was well controlled through his medication, thankfully, however, when things started going badly at work, he started having a hard time again.

Having him so stressed out showed us not only that we are overdoing it, but also that we really need to try to get to the core of the problem and work through it.  We've decided that, for now, we need to cut back on anything and everything extra.  We need to reduce the stress and busyness in the house as much as possible, and focus on strengthening our foundation again, as a family.  David is planning to go to a counselor to learn strategies to help him deal with anxiety/stress, as well as the thoughts and feelings behind it. 

We are feeling it is best to take a step back from our adoption of Deena (as well as some of our Church duties, and other "extras") and focus on getting him healthy and happy again.  We do both still want to adopt, and feel very strongly about it, but feel that maybe stepping back for 6 months or so will help us strengthen our foundation again, so we can be everything that our 3 kiddos, as well as the child we will bring in to our family, needs.  This was one of the hardest, and most emotional, decisions we have ever made.  We both love Deena and feel strongly about adopting her, and the thought of her sitting there waiting makes our hearts ache.  We have both shed many tears over this.  We will pray, for Deena's sake, that another family steps up to adopt her, as the thought of her waiting 6 more months is very sad.  She is such a sweet little one, and we pray she finds a family soon, even if it is not ours (she doesn't know we were trying to adopt her).  However, if she is still available when we feel we are ready to go forward, we would still like to proceed and try to adopt her. 

This weekend we hunkered down and just spent time together.  We watched movies, made pizza, swam, played games, and basically had very little "to do's".  It was just what we needed!  We are working on making sure we have lots of "us" time to just enjoy each other as a family, which is just so important.  Though stress and anxiety is never fun, it is bringing us closer together and showing us what really matters, and we are very thankful for that.

Please be praying for our family, as well as for Deena, as we work through this time.  We are thankful to have so many people loving and supporting us through it, and trust that God has a perfect plan through all of this. 



Unknown said...

Take care. I know this was hard for you.

Melissa Murphy said...

Hugs to you and your family. You are in my thoughts.

Unknown said...


Jessica said...

Bless you and your big heart! You need a stable, healthy family to bring a child into. You are doing what's best for everyone involved.

Christinah said...

Dear Ones,
May HIS BLESSINGS be upon your family at this time! Because you are such a close family, realizing the intensity of raising even one special needs, I will be praying for Deena and you!

I was born with Type 3, O.I.,and each of us has a place in time in HIS very special world!

Semper Fidelis,

Jill said...

Sending you guys lots of love and hugs. xo

Claire from the Calico Corner said...

I'm praying for your precious family during this time, and will continue to keep sweet Deena in my prayers as well. I know that God has all the days of her life perfectly planned out, and is in control.

The Evenstar News said...

Praying for you all. I've struggled my whole life with anxiety and have found that my diet plays a big role. Paleo mom web site really helpful for that too. Also have found taking high grade supplements and young living essential oils help.

Jamie said...

Yes, I agree! I've noticed a diet connection for a while with him. We eat gluten and dairy free and organic, etc... But I find he does best with no refine sugars at all, only grains like quinoa and oats in moderation, and mostly high quality meat, fruits, and veggies. We have been using balance oil with him. Which ones do you use?