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Sunday, September 4, 2011

Dear Ramya,

I must say, it is hard to wait for you.  It is hard to pray for you and look at your sweet face, but not know if you will be ours.  I feel so useless and stuck because I just simply cannot make this happen any faster.  I am trying, oh trust me, I am, but the phone calls and e-mails just have not done the trick so far.  I feel like I should be fundraising and doing something more productive right now, but on the other hand, I feel like we need to wait until we are approved in Arizona, at the very least, until we start too heavily in to that.  For now, I am thinking and gathering ideas, but I want to be doing more.

I am told that the wait is harder on us than it is for you, because you do not know that we are here waiting for you.  I am sure in some ways that is true; You do not feel the same urgency and concern that we do.  On the other hand, though, I cannot imagine the angst of waiting your entire life wanting nothing more than a family, and feeling like you will never get one.  I remember reading that one of your social workers said that not having a family, yet wanting one so badly, was taking a toll on you.  And that was over a year ago.  I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel now.  I wish there was a way for me to tell you that we are here, that we are praying for you, that we WANT you, and that we are trying our best to get you here as fast as we can.  I wish you knew how much we love you already. 

Your brother, sister, father, and I are waiting for you.  We pray that one day soon we will get to tell you how much we love you as we hold you close to our hearts.  We pray that one day soon we will be able to come bring you home.  


rachel said...

Your blog looks very interesting to me! We also live with spina bifida, food allergies and yes, adoption. My life is some different, I am a single mom who adopted five children from foster care. (one at a time, as babies) Two years ago, I got a surprise phone call saying one of my children's birthmom had just had a baby boy. with spina bifida. and I had 24 hours in which to decide whether or not to take him! I said yes, and my precious son turned 2 yeasterday. He has done well in many ways but there are challenges, of course! He has microcephaly with a shunt and Chiari malformation, type2. He is allergic to dairy, eggs, gluten, peanuts and latex-containing foods. He has had one shunt revision. I love him SOOO much and we all totally adore him! I look forward to reading more of your blog and good luck with the adoption!

ainemc said...

I wish I had the power to bring Ramya home to you! It is so unfair how long and costly this process takes. You will get there. And you and your family will give her more than enough love to make up for the years she has waited for her family.

Jessica said...

I wish we could hurry this process up for you! I know the waiting and uncertainty must be excruciating. For now, we pray.

Joanna said...

Such a beautiful letter. I only know a small portion of what you are feeling as I felt the same way when I was waiting for God to lead us in our journey to save Shea. I wasn't sure if he was meant for us (I really wanted him to be...but this was the first we had ever discussed adoption and it's not something you can rush into) or if we were just playing a role in his finding his forever family. It was really tough. And very bittersweet when another family was approved - but I see now how it was meant to be. And we were all part of God's plan. I still have a very open heart towards adopting some day. :) I'm praying for you and your journey - for peace and strength and rest and guidance. You have a beautiful family and a beautiful heart and I pray it is God's will to bring Ramya into your amazing family soon.

Kiara said...

LOVE this post!