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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My intimidation

Yesterday David and I met with a wonderful couple that go to our Church, Redemption, here in Phoenix. They adopted 3 little girls from Haiti and are an amazing family. We asked them lots of questions about adoption and had them ask us a lot as well. It was really reassuring for us and confirmed that we both are ready and are feeling God tugging at our hearts.

I have been worried that David was not in it the same way I was. I have always known that adoption was something I felt very strongly about. It is something that I have always known I wanted to do. It is something that we discussed long before getting married (notice the many 'I's here). David is a quiet guy who likes to joke around but has a hard time expressing his feelings. I can usually read him very well but I was having doubts about whether he was fully on board. I have always told him that this cannot be a "Jamie" thing. He cannot go along with it because he loves me and wants to support me. He has to be in it 110% and it has to be something he desires to do as well. He has to know, for himself, that this is something God is calling us to do. We have been talking about adoption so much lately and he has been supportive and telling me he wants to do this, but there was still that little seed of doubt.

After we left our meeting with the couple from our Church, David asked me how I thought it went and we discussed the meeting. During our conversation he said that he does want to start the process and that he thinks we should adopt. I told him that I knew I felt lead to adopt, but that he had to feel that way too. I told him, again, that it was ok if he did not feel that way, and that I would still love him. He got very serious, and a little tender-hearted, and told me that he felt God tugging at his heart too. He knows this is what God wants for us. I cannot really explain how encouraging those words were for me. All the doubt was gone and I knew that he was serious. I am so thankful God gave me a husband with a heart as big as mine! So that is that. We are officially starting the process. Wow!
Tonight we came home from dinner and all of the paperwork we need to start the process and begin our homestudy through Oasis was in the mail. I started reading through everything so that I would know what needed to be done first (apparently our fingerprints). It was then that my heart started to beat a little faster. The realization sunk in that it does not matter if we believe we will be amazing parents for another child. What matters is if they believe we will be. Ah, that is so much pressure! I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we are great parents. I know that we will be able to provide a stable, loving, and caring home. I know we will be able to deal with whatever is thrown our way. I know Conner will be a compassionate and loving brother. I know Madi will love another child as she does her brother and will be a great sister. I know all of this, but someone who does not know us has to decide it for us, and that fact is a little intimidating! I know God has a plan and already has this all worked out for us, and am working very hard at reminding myself of that. What is meant to be will happen, and me worrying will do nothing to change that. There is one amazing thing I can do, though, and that is pray, because I know that God listens. And on that note....

I am thankful for each of you out there who read our blog and keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I am thankful to have you loving us, supporting us, and walking this journey with us. If you can keep our new journey in your prayers, we would really, really appreciate it!


Colleen said...

From what I have read, it seems like the people who do the home study and the adoption agency just really want to match up kids with families. So they ask a lot of questions, but they aren't going to turn you down because of minor stuff. It's more to help you prepare for adopting a child and of course just protecting a child against people who have ill intent--which anyone would be able to tell that you don't!
I think it's awesome that you and your husband are on the same page about this and are moving forward! It's exciting!

Diana said...

Praying for you guys! <3

Christy said...

What an amazing opportunity to pursue. Remember that God knows exactly what you guys can offer and He is in the business of directing the hearts of any necessary parties. :-) Thanks for keeping us posted!

Joanna said...

Amazing! I'm so happy for you guys! We will keep you in our prayers throughout this process. And feel free to ask Liz Kulp (Shea's adoptive mommy) any questions as she has done this now 3 times! I'm sure she'd be happy to help! She's on facebook and her blog is on our blog - I'm sure you've probably checked it out - just wanted to remind you of her as a resource. :)

Andy and Kiara said...

Hey! You just met our friends! :) I'm so glad it was an encouraging conversation.

Rest assured -- social workers WANT to approve adoptive families. They want you to be able to adopt, and although there is lots of paperwork involved, it will probably all go very smoothly for you.

Please feel free to ask us anything along the way. Been there, done that, and we renew our home study yearly.

I can't wait to hear where God is leading your family. :)