Can you believe today marks two years since Ramya has been home? It is just so crazy! It really feels like she has always been part of our family, but it's crazy to think that just two years ago I was in India, holding her for the first time, and walking out those doors with her.
(P.S. When I walked out the doors with her, it was the 6th in India, but the 7th in the US, so we use the 7th as her adoption day)
When I think back to those first moments I had with her, I am still completely overcome with emotion. I would have never in my wildest dreams thought I would have a daughter from India. Before Ramya fell in our laps, I did not even know you could adopt from India, nor had I ever even considered it. I also thought we would adopt a baby and was pretty sure we were not meant to adopt an older child. Yet here we are with our beautiful, almost 8 year old, daughter from the other side of the world. It's crazy and perfect all at the same time. I'm still in awe at how God orchestrated our journey.
There's so much I could say about adoption and our process of becoming a family of five. Adoption is crazy hard, but at the same time, adoption is beautiful.
Before adopting you read so much about helping your child attach to you, but really attachment is a two-way street. You think and pray and prepare. You read every book, every blog, and every article you can get your hands on. Then this little (or big, but still little on the inside) human comes in to your life. You love that little human intensely. They want to love you, but they are terrified of you. Everyone else in their life has left them. They are sure you will do the same. The more they want to love you and want to accept your love, the more they push you away. All the while, you are trying to attach to them too. You know you love them, but you never got to start with those "warm fuzzies". When they scream at you, try to head-butt you, , throw things at you, take off their clothes and chuck them at you, and scream that they don't like you, it's hard. The struggles are real. Sometimes they seem endless. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt you love them. You know and feel that they are yours with every bone in your body. You know you would do anything for your child. But in that moment, when it's all happening and you are still trying to create those warm fuzzies, it's hard. Just plain hard. Even if you had a whole stock-house of warm-fuzzies it would still be hard.
Then you get those moments that fill your heart with joy. The quiet "I love you". The little hand in your hand. That little head against your shoulder, snuggling in deep. It may not last long, but it's a glimmer. A glimmer of hope. A little more bonding. A little more closeness. A little more attaching. It may not last long, but you soak it in and it sustains you.
It is such a blessing to get to adopt. When you adopt, you have the privilege of seeing the world a little differently. You get to see this little being come out of their shell, slowly. You get to see their personality emerge. You start to see confidence. You see smiles turn authentic and hearts begin to soften. You start to see genuine joy. The "I love you" becomes real and heart-felt. And that, my friends, makes it all worth it. Yes, adoption is hard. Yes, adoption is crazy emotional. But, yes, adoption is worth it.
Today we celebrated Ramya's adoption day how we always do. It's nothing fancy, but it's special to us. We go out to Indian food and wear our finest India outfits. We watch our adoption video and cuddle close while we read through Ramya's adoption story book together. We spend time as a family enjoying each other's company and remember that love makes a family, and our family is full of love.
“I didn’t give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I didn’t give you
The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.”
-Unknown
