Today kicks off the first day of spina bifida awareness month. When I was 22 weeks pregnant, Madi was diagnosed with spina bifida. I had no clue what spina bifida was and I was so scared. I felt like my world was crashing down. I had no idea what it meant for her and the doctor made it sound like a death sentence (literally). I remember pleading with God and telling him that I could deal with anything He threw our way, but to please let her make it through the rest of our pregnancy and in to my arms. Not long after Madi was born I realized how much of the story the doctor left out. Sure, there would be surgeries, therapies, appointments, wheelchairs, etc...., but more importantly there would be smiles, laughter, joy, determination, and LIFE. He forgot to tell me the “stuff” would all start to feel normal, and it would all be ok. Fast forward a few more years and Madi’s diagnosis also brought us Ramya, because we had learned over the years that spina bifida and wheelchairs really aren’t scary. Now we get the privilege of watching both girls grow, thrive, and live their lives abundantly. I hope by sharing our lives we have helped everyone see that we aren’t defined by our list of “cant’s” (and trust me, every person on this earth has a list in one form or another). That list doesn’t rob us of our joy or keep us from living our lives to the fullest. We don’t live life on the sidelines. We are truly blessed beyond measure.

Showing posts with label blessing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessing. Show all posts
Friday, October 4, 2019
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Beauty from Ashes
From best friends and crib-mates to sisters. My girls lost everything. They lost their families when they were brought in to the orphanage. They lost their friends, caregivers, language, and culture when we brought them here. Though they now have the medial care they needed, a family that loves them fiercely and advocates for them, more than enough food, new friends, a good education, etc...., we can’t take away the loss or trauma they experienced. Adoption can have gain, but it’s deeply routed in loss. I’m thankful that they will always have each other.
(For those of you wondering, Deena was in Ramya's third orphanage. They were best friends for the almost year that Ramya was there before coming home. I met Deena on my trip to bring Ramya home. Shortly after my return, we decided to try and adopt Deena. The process took about 2 1/2 (very long) years.)
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Lots of Updates from our Casa
I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on to update. Life just flies by! One of my goals lately is to take care of myself in small ways, so I have been using the treadmill again at night. It's a great way to reduce stress and I love it, but it also leaves me less time at night to accomplish things. After using the treadmill and doing house work I pretty much fall in to bed, but it's worth it!
The last month has been busy. We are loving going new places in Tucson and have been spending a lot of time outside enjoying the weather. We've been meeting new friends and having play dates, which is always nice. We've also had some trips to Phoenix, appointments, and things like that.
Last month when we were in Phoenix for Easter we also saw the endocrinologist. She submitted all of the paperwork to start Deena on her PAM infusions (osteoporosis medicine via IV to help with bone density) and Ramya also got her quarterly Lupron Depot Pediatric injection. We are keeping our endo in Phoenix, even though it will mean a quarterly drive, because OI (osteogenisis imperfect) is her passion, and you just don't replace a doctor like that!
While we were in Phoenix we also celebrated Ramya's birthday with family. She requested a party with just family, so that's what she got!! Since we don't have a house in Phoenix any more we had the party at the park. She wanted a princess theme and Indian food. It was a lot of fun!
Deena has exciting news; she got her ears pierced! She has been wanting them since before she came home, but we wanted to wait until we could take her, and also until she was ready to let me clean them and take care of them. She did amazing and she is so proud!
We have been home since Wednesday evening and Deena is doing remarkable! She was SO excited to leave the hospital. It was hard on her having the rest of the family away, though they did come visit, and she kept asking me when we could go home. Her eyes lit up and she got super excited when I told her they were sending us home.
Deena is already back to her spunky self, her appetite is great, and she seems to be healing well. We have a follow-up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon in 4 weeks and we will take x-rays at that time to check how her healing is going. She was getting restless and kept asking to go in the car, so we ventured out to Costco on Friday and she was very excited!
The last month has been busy. We are loving going new places in Tucson and have been spending a lot of time outside enjoying the weather. We've been meeting new friends and having play dates, which is always nice. We've also had some trips to Phoenix, appointments, and things like that.
The Tucson Air Show
The Desert Museum
Family pampering day.... Deena's first manicure at a shop and Conner's first pedicure
While we were in Phoenix we also celebrated Ramya's birthday with family. She requested a party with just family, so that's what she got!! Since we don't have a house in Phoenix any more we had the party at the park. She wanted a princess theme and Indian food. It was a lot of fun!
Madi and Ramya had their yearly renal ultrasounds and appointments with their urologist. Both the girl's kidneys look great and we don't go back for another year! Yeah! Since we had to drive to Phoenix for the appointment, we decided to take advantage of our drive home to go to the ostrich farm. David met us there since it's only 40 minutes away from where we live. The kids had SO much fun. I think we will make it a tradition!
Deena has exciting news; she got her ears pierced! She has been wanting them since before she came home, but we wanted to wait until we could take her, and also until she was ready to let me clean them and take care of them. She did amazing and she is so proud!
In not-so-fun news, sweet Deena was in the hospital with a fractured femur on Monday. After leaving the teaching store, David bent down to lift her out of her stroller. She must have leaned forward and she just kind of rolled forward out of the stroller (David said like a little ball). He tried to catch her but she was in a slippery princess dress and he couldn't get her in time. The stroller is very low to the ground and has no bars on the front, which I purposely purchased so that we wouldn't bump her legs getting her in or out, so she didn't fall far, and she didn't hit anything, but somehow she fell just right and ended up with a fracture. David said one leg went behind the other and then she sat on the ground, so we think it was just from the pressure of one leg on the other. It was terrible even though it was an accident. It's her first big injury for her since coming home, and we all felt awful, but especially David. We try so hard to lift her carefully, always give her support, and make sure she's safe, but one of the hard things about OI is that fractures are a part of life, and sometimes it's the smallest things that cause breaks.
Her left femur used to have a rod in it, because it broke frequently, but right before coming home they took it out. You never take rods out once a child/adult is rodded though, because the bones are thinner there after having the rods to support them. Unfortunately, though, they did remove it, and we had been planning to place it back in this summer.
Although it was an awful and unfortunate accident, there were definitely some good things that came out of all of it.
- Her orthopedic surgeon, who worked at Shriners for 11 years and has lots of experience with OI, PAM treatments, and rodding surgeries, was on call the night we went in to the ER. He saw her name come up and stayed 2 hours after he was off to be able to review her x-rays. After reviewing her x-rays the initial plan was to set the bone and then admit us for a night pain management. After talking, however, we decided to go ahead and use that time to put the rod back in, since we had to be admitted anyhow. His schedule the next day was pretty full, though (so full that he already had to plan to delay another surgery because he just couldn't fit it in), and he didn't want us to be sitting in the hospital, so he asked if we were ok with just doing the surgery right then. We said yes, he left to prep, and we went off to surgery prep. It was getting late so David took the other kiddos home to bed and I stayed with Deena. They took her back right about 10:15ish. It was a quiet night and I was the only person sitting and waiting in the waiting area. It gave me time to go through all her medical files again and begin writing down the dates of all of her breaks and procedures so that we could get a better picture of her past medical history. Just after 12:00am the doctor came to talk and said everything went really well. He got the rod in just how he wanted it. He left and then they brought me back to be with her. She was sleepy and slept most of the time. It took a while for us to get a room, but at about 2:30am we went up and got settled in. Thankfully Deena slept through it all. I was exhausted, but nothing a little coffee couldn't fix! The next morning when she woke up she was doing a ton better and said she wasn't in pain. We kept on top of her pain meds to make sure she stayed comfortable, and she handled it amazingly!
- I talked with Dr. Vincent and asked if we could do her first PAM infusion while we were in the hospital. The first infusion is done in the hospital, and then the rest at home. Since we were going to be there anyway, it made sense to go ahead and start. Dr. Vincent actually had her infusion paperwork with him, because he brought it so he could ask about the steps to starting it while he was at the hospital. It worked out great because they were able to start working on getting it in the pharmacy and approved through insurance. They weren't able to get it all done Tuesday, but Wednesday they were able to give her first infusion before they discharged us. She handled the infusion well and so far hasn't had any side effects.
- Another blessing out of all of this is the time it gave Deena and I to continue to work on bonding. I know that she realized the difference it made having her momma there with her. She told me she loved me more times in a day than I have ever heard before and wanted to hold my hand and have me play with her hair. Though being in the hospital and surgeries are no fun, it reiterated for her that I love her and I am here for her. She didn't have to go through the pain alone and she had me right there to help her and advocate for her.
- They didn't have to remove her earrings for surgery. This might sound minor but she was SO proud of them and was devastated when they said they may have to take them out. They were able to cover and tape them instead, and I am so thankful! Sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference for a child when they are going through major medical stuff.
My sleepy little warrior princess
She was SO excited for visitors!
We made great friends with Child Life and love all the fun stuff they brought us to do
They ordered a wheelchair for her to use at home/out-and-about so we could keep her leg elevated
Reunited and it feels so good!
Deena is already back to her spunky self, her appetite is great, and she seems to be healing well. We have a follow-up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon in 4 weeks and we will take x-rays at that time to check how her healing is going. She was getting restless and kept asking to go in the car, so we ventured out to Costco on Friday and she was very excited!
We also went to Church today and she enjoyed getting out and being around other people. We still bring her in to service with us anyhow, so I wasn't worried about safety. She enjoyed singing and cuddle time on my lap.
In other news, we found an occupational therapists and are excited to get back in to the swing of things. Apparently finding in-home therapists, especially speech and PT, is insanely hard in Tucson. I have spent endless hours on the phone calling companies and trying to find openings. I've even called outpatient therapy centers and everywhere has a wait. I'm not going to give up, and we are glad to at least be able to start with OT.
Oh, I also forgot to update and say that Deena is officially on our primary insurance! Yeah!! We have already met her $2,500 yearly deductible (it's per person), and I am so so so thankful we got her on in time for the surgery and hospital stay. Our bills may still not be pretty but it will make an enormous difference. On top of that, they added her at the rate they would add any child, even though I disclosed that she has OI. That right there is an amazing blessing!
I think that's all of our big updates for now. We are on the hunt for a bigger vehicle still, and I think we have decided on a Ford Transit with a turney seat for Madi. She's a little over 80 pounds now, so this will help immensely with transfers in and out of the car. Please be praying that we find just the right car for our family. We have such unique circumstances it's been very difficult to figure out what will work for our family.
For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, or who knew we were in the hospital, thank you for praying for our sweet girl and for checking in. God has been taking care of us in big ways, and we are so thankful!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
An Amazing Blessing in the Mail Today
A while back I got a message from my friend saying that she and her hubby liked to donate part of their tax returns in more creative ways. This year they had decided to donate towards our adoption and another family that they are close with that are adopting. We were SO excited! They didn't tell us how much to expect, but we were so thankful for their thoughtfulness, generosity, love, and support. Well, the check came today and...
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(drum roll please)
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... it was for $650!! Ahhhhhhh! We couldn't be more taken-back and excited! We are so very, very thankful! It feels amazing to be so close to our goal. What a huge blessing!
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(drum roll please)
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... it was for $650!! Ahhhhhhh! We couldn't be more taken-back and excited! We are so very, very thankful! It feels amazing to be so close to our goal. What a huge blessing!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Fear
A few weeks ago, I ordered our Redefining Spina Bifida shirts. I have a photo I am planning where I want us all to wear them, but I did not want to spend the money on them right now. I saw a sale on second quality shirts, and nabbed them up. Heck, we'll stain them anyway, so who cares if they are second quality!
I was so excited when I got our shirts, but was a little taken back when I read the back. I had read it before I bought it, but it didn't really resonate with me until I saw it on my little gal.
It really made me pause and think. Am I afraid of spina bifida? Is Madi? Is our family? The answer, simply, is no. We are not afraid of spina bifida.
Now, when I first heard that Madi had spina bifida, I was afraid. I was afraid because no one could tell me what life would look like. I was afraid because I did not know if I would be able to hold my little girl in my arms. I was afraid because no one could tell me what Madi would face. There were lots of guesses, but the fact was, no one knew. I hear the fear in the posts and questions of new parents. Terms like "mentally retarded", "no quality of life", and "brain dead" get thrown around, and yeah, it sounds scary! Doctors tell parents the only human thing to do is to terminate the pregnancy. They tell them spina bifida is incompatable with life. It saddens me to no end that doctors STILL describe our children and their lives that way, and it could not be further from the truth! Madi is not your "best case" of spina bifida. She has a fairly high lesion, needs a shunt, had a clubbed foot, and cannot move from the waist down. But guess what, to us, she IS the best case. She is just perfectly perfect and we are so thankful for the opportunity to get to see and be part of her greatness every day
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
-H. P. Lovecraft
Seeing Madi and the astounding little blessing that she is, there is just no way I can fear spina bifida. She is not her spina bifida. It does not define her. It does not rule, nor ruin, our lives. I truly do not think Madi is afraid of spina bifida either. I see her looking spina bifida in the face and saying, "Hey, get out of my way! You don't stop me!" Sure, sometimes it annoys her (or 'bannoys' as Conner would say ;)), but she is a bright and determined little girl, and she finds a way.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
-William Allen White
So take that spina bifida, we are not afraid of you!
P. S. My friend said that "fear" is smaller on the shirt because we are overcoming it. That is exactly my prayer. I hope that by wearing our shirts, keeping up our blogs, and being open with the rest of the world, those of us that are touched by spina bifida can reduce fear for new parents. We can reduce that fear of the unknown. Now if we can just figure out a way to work on those darn doctors and get them to be more fair in how they describe our kiddos.....
P.S.S. You can buy the shirt here http://www.babysnazz.com/redefining-spina-bifida. It is a great shirt!
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