Bed Sharing Adventures: My Little Bed Hog!

Before Ramya came home, we decided that if she would be ok with sharing our room with us, we would have her sleep close for a while.  We never really decided if it would be in our bed or on a little bed in our room, but figured she'd make that choice herself, depending on how she did.  Co-sleeping (having your little one sleep in your room (in their own bed is fine or in yours)) is encouraged in adoption (at least in our experience).  Our adoption agency recommends that you keep your child near for a little while.  This helps reassure your little one that you are close and helps them see that you will meet their needs both day and night.  Many kiddos have night terrors and wake often as well, so it's reassuring for them to have someone close.  Not to mention that it's easier to calm them quickly, while getting a little more sleep yourself.  Additionally, kiddos from orphanages are often used to sharing a room with other kids, so they are not used to sleeping alone.  It helps with bonding and attachment too, so we figured, hey, why not!?!?!  It seemed like a good idea to us, and we are on the same page, so we went for it.

For us, sharing a sleeping space with our children is nothing new.  We started out our parenting journey sure that Conner would sleep in a pack-and-play in our room and then would seamlessly transfer to a crib in his own room by 6 months.  Little did we know this was not going to work out too well ;).  Conner had very bad reflux and was never happy unless he was on or next to me.  I tried, night after night, to keep him happy and sleeping in his pack-and-play.  This, of course, meant I wasn't sleeping.  One night, David said, "just bring him to our bed and get some sleep!".  It worked like a charm and we never looked back!  With Madi and her surgeries and higher risk of something happening due to possibly shunt failure (which we had twice), I never felt comfortable having her away from me.  The only way I could sleep sound was if she was sleeping close.  We made sure to be safe and careful about it, but this began our journey of co-sleeping (more specifically, bed-sharing for us).

In India, Ramya had to share a bed with me, because there was only one bed.  Once we got home, she seemed to want a toddler bed (Madi and Conner have one), so we got a free one from a friend and set it up for her right next to my side of the bed.  Turns out she wanted a toddler bed to look at, but not so much to sleep in ;).  So, for now, she sleeps next to David and me (though really, she scoots over next to me), and we are totally ok with that!  The only thing that would be nice is if that girl slept at least sorta straight in bed (see below photos) ;).

You see this picture?  This is us cuddling on our first night out of the orphanage...

 

 

I remember thinking that she laid so straight and still.  I'm not sure exactly what happened, because that is not how she sleeps any more!  Last week Conner and Madi convinced me to let them sleep in the "big bed" with me and Ramya (David had to camp out in a different room, but he didn't mind one bit, since it's not what we normally do).  Conner said Ramya kept kicking him in the head.  I thought he was just being silly, until I saw this (the pillow is saving my spot in bed :))....

 

 

You see those legs in a nice little "V"?  Yup, that is mostly how she sleeps next to David and I now.  It's either an "L" or a "V", but really never straight any more!  She's a squirrel!

 

The other night Madi had a cold so I put her in our bed for two nights as well.  Both nights, when I went to go to bed, this is what I found, even though I did not leave them that way...

 

 

 

 

 

She loves to be close and cuddle!  She does wake up sometimes at night, but after she feels for me, she goes right back to bed.  It may not be perfect, but I think it's really helping her feel more comfortable there, and it's working well for us.  The snuggles are nice too, and I do think it helps with bonding.  There is also just something special about seeing your little one's sweet, innocent, and angelic sleeping face next to you.  It sure makes whatever happens during the day a little easier to deal with!

 

So, for now, we share a bed with a very sweet ninja who loves to cuddle!

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

A Crazy Testing and Happy Birthday Kinda Day

Today was a crazy day, but a nice day too.  We woke up, did our morning routine, worked on homeschooling, went for a walk, then it was off to the doctor for Ramya and I.  Madi's respite worker, Amy, came to help out with the other two squirrels for a bit while I was gone and before David got off work at two to take over.  First was an ultrasound, followed by an appointment with the urologist (more to come on that soon).  After that we hustled out a CT scan and x-ray series to check her shunt.  The last two tests are in preparation for her upcoming neurosurgeon appointment, where we will make sure all is well with her shunt.

There was some good news and some bad news at the urology appointment.  The good news is that her kidneys look good.  There were no abnormalities or anything found, and her kidneys seem to be working well.  The doctor said her mitrofanoff is open and working, but the reason I can't get anything out of it is because of her constant leaking.  Madi is cathed through the urethra (what I call the "normal" way, since it's normal to us ;)) four times a day.  She pretty much stays dry between cathings.  Her bladder is very slightly spastic, but mostly is not.  It grows on it's own little curve and holds a decent amount of liquid.  Ramya is a whole new story, though.  She leaks like crazy and I get almost nothing out because she leaks so much.  I feel like I constantly change her and she is constantly wet.  She seems to hold very very little urine.  For example, today I cathed her "the normal way" in the morning.  She was soaking wet and I got very little out.  I skipped her early afternoon cathing as I was trying to keep her full for her ultrasound.  I just changed her and left for the doctor.  I gave her tons of water, as she was supposed to drink a ton for the ultrasound.  When we got there, she was wet again, but the tech said there was almost nothing in her bladder.  We cathed her a little later so the doctor could try her mitrofanoff, and we got almost nothing out.  Apparently this isn't really what they like to see, as we can't really achieve "social continence" like that.  The urologist wants her to be on dithropan (which she was on in the orphanage) to see if we can get her leaking under control.  Madi had terrible reactions to dithropan and is doing fine without it, so we have kept her off and just monitor her closely.  Looks like Ramya seems to be one of those kiddos who needs it, though.  He said we also need to do a urodynamics study and a VCUG to see just how much she can hold, to see if her muscles are just too week to hold things in, and to see if she still has renal reflux (among a few other things). 

He's a little confused at the motrofanoff surgery she went through.  Normally they go in and attach part of the intestines (I think that's what he said ;)) to the bladder to help it not be spastic and also to help it hold more liquid (again, I think that's what he said, I am sure some of you out there can help me explain this a little better ;)).  He doesn't think that part was done, and he has no idea why they wouldn't do that part too.  He said he needs to do the other two studies, in addition to the reasons posted above, to help him figure out exactly what they did do, and why they did what they did.  Basically he's stumped and thinks she really needed that part of the surgery and will need another surgery since that part wasn't done.  Drat.  He's also stumped by her MACE surgery.  He said it isn't in the typical spot and he doesn't know why they put it where they did, or if it will even work right how they did it.  Double drat.  He's going to take a better look at that later, but said not to use it for now.

Ramya did well with all of the testing and I think it also helped our bonding.  I stayed close and held her hand during the tests, assuring her that they would not hurt.  She seemed to trust me and want me close, so that made my momma heart happy.  I, of course, carried her around the hospital for all of her testing and she sat on my lap while we waited.  She seemed to enjoy the one-on-one time, though it wasn't for a fun reason.  They also realized it was her birthday and let her pick a little gift.  She picked a Littlest Pet Shop set with a girl doll in vintage clothing and a spider pet with a vintage hat.  She was very excited about it all!  They also gave her a little snack (goldfish crackers and fruit snacks) which she was happy about.  Overall we were gone quite a bit, from about 11:45 am until about 5:30 pm. 

Poor Conner isn't doing well with having me gone so much.  He now has my cell phone number memorized and calls me a lot while I'm away.  I don't mind and happily take his calls when I can, because I know it helps him feel better.  Today was a call about a big scratch he found on his foot that he doesn't know how he got.  He thought I needed to know and would want to look at it when I got home.  I assured him I would examine it and kiss it when I returned home, and I did.  He called about 3 other times, but I was only able to answer 1 other time.  He played with Amy and Madi a bit, but mostly said he wanted alone time and sat in the garage.  When I got home he told me he prayed for God to bring me home faster :(.  Poor little guy.  He did have fun going to the movies with David, so that is good, but I think I'm going to have to figure out a little mommy/son date this weekend.  He is seeming to really need some time with me.

Now to the FUN part of our day!  After dinner (thank GOD for leftovers that came from amazing friends who have been gifting us with yummy food!!) we gave Ramya her presents from us and did cake.  I am the lamest mom ever and she got a piece of pre-made, individually sold, cake from the store.  She loved it, though, and, literally, devoured every single bite!  I am throwing a family party on Sunday that will be the princess and the frog theme, so she will get a nice birthday party soon.  I am thankful that she was happy with her little party this evening, though, since I felt like I didn't do a very good job celebrating.  She enjoyed being sung Happy Birthday so much that she started singing it to herself too!  She loved all her gifts, but especially loved her baby doll and the outfit for it.  I had purchased it for her at a little toy shop by our house that was going out of business and was clearancing everything out.  I've been saving it for her and I'm so glad she loved it!  Both she and the baby are happily sleeping in our bed as we speak :).  I'm not sure if she's ever had her birthday celebrated before, but I am thrilled that she was able to come home in time for us to celebrate her!

 

Opening gifts is so fun!

 

Sister, what did you get???

My favorite birthday gift!

 



 

We had to change the clothing right away ;)

 

Blowing out her candle (she didn't want to go to the table and wanted to stay sitting with her baby in her lap, so I complied ;))

 

Finger-licking-good!

 

 

Many people have asked how I'm doing, so I thought I'd just tell everyone at once.  If you see me, you will likely think I look tired.  It's for a great reason... I'm tired!  Ha!  I don't think I've slept amazingly for, say, 6 years or so (wait, how old is Conner again ;)).  It's more than that, though, (because actually my kiddos are pretty good sleepers, thankfully!!).  I'm just tired because our days are busier right now.  Even just being home is busier.  There is more holding and lifting and more emotional "stuff" lately.  There are more phone calls to figure out appointments and insurance and all that fun stuff in there too.  There are adoption reports due and meetings with our post-adoption agency.  There is lots of running around and appointments, though I put off anything I can.  Conner and Madi have regressed a little and are needing more momma time.  And, amongst all of that, there is the typical hustle and bustle of life and housework.  There is also time with my hubby, which is just so needed and important, and worth every second!  I am thankful, though, that being a mom, and especially a mom of a child with special needs who needs occasional ambulance rides and hospital stays, has well-prepared me for life's busyness.  I have this supernatural ability to run effectively on minimal sleep, to go abnormal amounts of time with no food, water, shower, bathroom, etc..., and be able to manage a household and retain information (mostly ;)) from the doctors.  I am, of course, exaggerating a bit, as really, I am taking pretty good care of myself.  I make sure to sleep 7-8 hours a night, eat healthy(ish... lately I've been not doing very good in this area) meals, exercise, and get some "me" time in once everyone else has gone to bed.  However, I am still drained.  A second cup of coffee in the afternoon (if Starbucks wasn't so expensive, I'd have a major addiction going on there) has become part of my new routine and keeps me going.  I have started biting my nails again and am back down to sad little stubs.  I am happy to say, though, that I am still going, mostly with a smile on my face, and that is what matters!

 

Another question I get a lot is how people can pray for us.  Here are some ways you can pray...

1. That we can find peace and joy amongst our doctors appointments and the things taking us out of the home
2. For Conner and Madi as they adjust to me being gone a little more (thankfully this should taper off a bit after we get over this first hump of appointments)
3. For our bonding and attachment as a family as we try to balance it all
4. For grace for ourselves, as well for all of our kiddos, as we travel this journey together
5. That we can get Ramya on long-term care

 I'm sure I have lots more, but I'm getting tired and can't think of them all right now!  I want to update everyone on how our attachment is going too, but that will just have to wait for another night :).  

 

Medical Bills, Medical Bills, Where Art Thou Medical Bills?

Today we had a very important appointment, though not a medical one.  Today I took Ramya to have a casting of her handprint made.  I have the kiddos foot prints and pictures framed on my wall, and I want somethign special for Ramya too.  When Ramya looks around our house, she sees Conner and Madi, but she is not in any the pictures.  We have her picture on our fridge, but that's it.  I want her to start seeing where she fits in (right in the middle of our crazy family, forever!!) and I think it's really important, so we made this a priority.  We are also getting family pictures next Thursday (THANK YOU Michelle!!) from a wonderful friend who is taking them as a gift for our family.  After that I'm changing out all the photos so that our whole family is in them.

Tomorrow the real fun starts.  Although she's been to the pediatrician, he didn't really do much in terms of testing and such, so it was a fast in and fast out kind of appointment.  Tomorrow is a big day.  First she has an ultrasound of her urinary "parts", next an appointment with Dr. Zuniga, our urologist, and after that a CT scan and set of x-rays to check her shunt.  Whew!  We have a $2,500 insurance deductible, and we will hit it ALL tomorrow with these appointments.  Lucky us!  I am very happy, though, that we are hitting them so early in the year, so that we at least have the rest of the year with owing 20% and co-pays, versus the full amount.  Phoenix Children's Hospital has been calling me frantically to set up payment.  I had to pay half of the CT scan and x-rays upfront (so today about $1,200 went on my credit card), then I will make payments on the other half.  Next, of course, we get to pay a chunk of the ultrasound and our doctor visit amount. 

I'm going to insurance (hopefully tomorrow... it's on my very long list of to-do's) and try to see if we pay more monthly (currently we pay about $720 a month), if we would pay less on the visits, and try to balance out what would make more sense for our family.  I am also trying to work on getting Ramya on long-term care.  Everyone keeps telling me she won't qualify, but I am trying anyway!  Join me in praying that she can get on, as this would be a HUGE help!

We knew all these bills were coming and tried to start saving for them, so none of this surprises me.  Even though, when I think about the equipment she needs, the testing, the visits, the surgery she will most likely need (doctor said her bowel and bladder surgery need fixing, so we'll see what the urologist says), my head starts spinning.  I know God has a way planned for this all to get handled, though, so I'm just taking it one day at a time and praying for the best!

No matter what happens, though, SHE IS WORTH IT! 

And on that note, Ramya turns 6 tomorrow!  I am SO thankful we get to have her home to celebrate with her!  I got her a little birthday outfit that came in the mail today and she is so excited!  I can't wait to post pictures!


 

Little Miss Mother Hen

Ramya is my little mother hen.  Her English is getting better and she is very good at telling Conner and Madi just what they should be doing, as well as exactly how they should do it.  She is also the first one there to ask what is wrong when they get hurt.  She is my little helper who helps push back their hair or tilt their head when they need/want ear oil.  She'll pat their back if she thinks they need it, give them a napkin, and just loves to help take care of them (especially Madi) in general.

Ramya is starting to put multiple words together and is doing really well.  Here is an example of some of her words...

Titan, sit (except she says 'sh' instead of 's' so it makes me giggle ;))
Titan, lay down!  (although sometime it's down lay, Titan!)
Titan, go!
Kitty, go!
Madi, sit! 
Madi, lay down!
Mommy, boo boo
Mommy, itchy
More _________ (usually egg ;))
_________ nice (meaning good, so pizza nice, pudding nice, etc....)
I know!
No
Mine ______ (mine bag, mine food)
Bag (purse)
Bat (battery)
Story (store)
Car
Water
Foon (spoon)

And the list goes on!

Ramya is enjoying having things done for her.  Sometimes it makes me laugh because she waits for me to do the oddest little things.  For example, if we sit at the table and her arm is behind her, she fusses until I move her arm for her.  If she has an itch, she will tell me and wait for me to scratch it.  If she has a little boo boo (and right now any little anything is a "boo boo" so sometimes it's hard to tell if she's really hurt or not), she waits for a rub and/or kiss before she's better.  She is happy for me to brush her teeth, wash her hair, change her clothes, brush her hair, and all that other fun stuff.  I know right now it is important for me to meet all of her "needs", even if they seem little to me, so I happily comply.  I know soon it will taper off and she will do a little more on her own every day. 

Ramya loves the outdoors.  We go on a walk every day at least once.  We go hiking a lot as well, and go bike riding a lot too.  She loves it all!  She went down the slide a ton yesterday and loved that.  It's a good workout for me too, since I have to carry the girls up the stairs ;).  I also convinced her to try out the swing and she really enjoyed that also.  Today she and David went to the store by themselves for the first time and she was very happy for some alone-time with daddy.  She wanted some assurance I would be here when she got back, and was pleased that I was, but had a huge smile on her face from getting to go out with dad. 

Though we still have our time-ins at times, she is getting better at coming out of a "funk" and can be redirected sometimes before it turns in to anything more.  It seems she is slowly getting a little more impulse control as well, which is nice.

I still carry Ramya a lot, but she is doing better with waiting a second if I need two hands and can't pick her up right away (like when I'm draining hot noodles or cathing Madi).  She's playing happily with other kiddos for longer periods too.  We had friends over today and she went outside with them for some time before wanting me back.  She knows I will come if she calls me and she is getting more confident, which is great to see.  She also asks to go to David at times and is bonding with him as well.  A few days ago she sat next to Conner, slowly inched closer, then put her head on his arm.  He light right up and was very proud.  It was sweet!

Our doctor appointment fun has started and so far so good.  The pediatrician thought she looked great and didn't have any major concerns.  We are treating her ear wax build-up, but that is about it.  Madi saw Dr. Segal last week and that went well.  We waited an hour and fourty-five minutes to get in, which was not so fun, but the girls did pretty good with the wait.  Next week Ramya has an ultrasound and appointment with the urologist and will also likely get a shunt series (CT scan and x-rays) in preparation for seeing the neurosurgeon.  The week after, Madi goes in to the neurologist (Dr. Condie) and then the following week Ramya goes in to Dr. Segal, the orthopedic surgeon.  He can write a prescription for new leg braces, so we will see Ron at Hanger shortly after we see Dr. Segal.  The week after that, Ramya sees Dr. Moss, the neurosurgeon.  We have about a 30-40 minute drive to each doctor, so I am happy they are spread out a bit and only 1 a week. 

Overall, life is good!  We are having fun as a family of 5 and Conner has already planned our next adoption.  He wants to do a garage sale fundraiser, get money, go to India, pick up a boy that is 5-6 years old and likes legos,  and he wants bunk beds.  He said the boy has to be from India so that Ramya isn't sad.  Who knows, maybe one day in the far-off future he will get his wish ;).

Oh!  And in other news, Ramya is almost 6!  Her birthday is on March 7th and her little family party is on the 10th.  I can't wait to celebrate her this coming up week! 

Oh, and I don't know if I ever posted this, but we are keeping her name the same, though in India you would say R-u-mya, and we say R-a-mya.  She will get the middle name of "Lynn", which is my middle name, and also part of Madi's first name (Madilynn).  So we will have Jamie Lynn (me), Madilynn Joy, and Ramya Lynn.  I think it sounds nice!

Back from the store!



 

Fun on the slide

 

First Dance Class!

Ever since we saw my niece dance at a recital, Madi has been asking to sign up for dance class.  I went in to our local community center (Conner does karate there) and talked to the instructor about modifying the class for her.  She was totally on board so we signed Madi up.  Today was her first day and she was all smiles!  She was totally on cloud 9!  Here's a photo and a video from her first day...

 

 

 

 

So fun!!  It is ballet and tap, so we are going to bring her little clickers to use with her hands during the tap part :).



Day ____ Home... Wait, What Day is it Anyway?!?!?

My days have gotten all mixed up, that's for sure!  In some ways, things still feel so very new, and in others, it feels like we have been a family of 5 all along.  We are getting down a routine and our new normal is starting to feel just, well, normal.  Conner informed me yesterday that things are back to normal, so I know the kids are feeling more in the "grove" too.  Both Conner and Madi are very excited to show off their new sister.  They are very proud of her!  It's crazy to me that I haven't even truly known Ramya a month now, but I am already so in love with her. 

We have our good moments and our not-so-good moments, but our good far outweigh the rough ones.  Today was a great day, and I wasn't so sure it would be, so I was pleasantly surprised.  We still haven't been back to Church, and were planning to go this week, but one of the kiddo's best friends, Viveka, was turning 5, and we really wanted to be at her party.  They are moving to India in a few weeks and we will miss them greatly.  I knew Church and the party would be way to much (and feared the party alone may be!), so we opted out of Church to spend some time with our friends before their move. 

Tomorrow Ramya has an appointment with the pediatrician to get her established there and to make sure she doesn't have anything yucky she has brought home from the orphanage (ring worm, lice, parasites, and all that fun stuff ;)).  We have a good amount of appointments coming up this next few weeks, so I am extra thankful for the meals that have been coming in from friends and family.  I know David appreciates something a little more fancy than eggs, Costco chicken apple sausages, and/or chicken, since I haven't been able to make nice dinners too often since we've been home.  We are getting there, though! 

In other news, I think Madi is allergic/sensitive to eggs :(.  Considering we are gluten and dairy free already (due to sensitivies), and considering eggs is one of the few protiens Madi loves to eat, I'm pretty bummed.  I had noticed Madi started getting a rash around her mouth, but kind of brushed it off.  I started noticing a pattern to it, though, and I'm about 99% sure it's eggs.  We get local, fresh, un-washed eggs, but we were out, so I bought some from the store on Tuesday.  Madi ate two scrambled that night (nothing added, just scrambled plain, no milk) and right away got very red and rashy all around the mouth.  That night she slept terrible.  I thought maybe it was something to do with those eggs in particular, and thought it would be fine when she had our local eggs back.  The next day our local eggs were delivered so I made her some.  Right away, she got very red and rashy around the mouth again.  I thought maybe, just maybe, it was from the catsup or something and just kind of kept it in the back of my mind.  She slept terrible again that night.  Yesterday I gave her a boiled egg (local eggs like she always eats) with nothing at all on it.  Sure enough, totally red all around the mouth, and last night she was up all nigh in pain.  And I do mean all night (yawn).  Darn.  I'm going to get her tested and hope to have some more "concrete" results soon. 

I realized I never posted our last batch of photos, so here you go (my mom has a few more on her camera I need to get off, but I haven't yet).  Better late than never, right??

 

 

Oh What a Day!

Whew, what a day!

I'm realizing that I have to pay super close attention to our schedule and changes, because what just feels normal and not busy to me, feels different to Ramya.  Today Madi went back to preschool for the first time since we have been back (they had Tuesday off for conferences and my mom brought her last Thursday).  When we dropped Madi off Ramya seemed ok, as well as during pick-ups, but of course, this meant a change to our routine.  Next we had a visitor that came by for a bit to spend time with us.  Ramya wanted to sit on her lap, because my kids were, but we decided she should set her next to her instead (more on this later) and that worked out.  She left and Madi's therapist came, which is the first therapist we have had in the house since we have been home (other than Madi's respite worker, Amy, but Amy has adopted children as well, so she knows just how to handle herself/situations to make sure that she is encouraging our attachment and bonding), and we also did a quick stop at the grocery store.  This was just wayyyyyyy too much for one day.  When the early evening came, so did the defiance.  We had lots of "no's" and some throwing of things, and then of course came the time-in, which lasted way longer than it should have due to more defiance.  After that was all said and done, the impulsiveness came out in full force.  She was in my arms and happy again, but was just having a hard time settling down and calming.  I did some deep pressure sensory input on her, we ate, and I massaged her with coconut oil, and she finally started relaxing.  After we got ready for bed, we had some more defiance and another time-in, and then finally got to bed, where it took her a while to fall asleep because she was still wound up.

Whew!!

On the plus side, today I was "mom" or "mommy" at least half of the day.  Woooo hooo!  David has mostly been "dad" for a few days now, but I was only getting an occasional mom or mommy from her.  Today, though, I got it quite a bit!  It's what my momma heart needed to still have a smile on my face at the end of today ;).

I also learned some interesting things on attachment today.  I wasn't sure how to handle the lap-sitting thing, as our visitor is someone close to us who she has seen before and who will be around often.  I know that she wanted to sit with her because Conner and Madi were, and because she is becoming familliar, but I also know this is pretty early and that we aren't ready yet.  We decided to have her sit next to her, instead of on her lap, and then to have our visitor ask her if she needed mommy.  It wasn't totally smooth, but it worked.

I thought I should ask around to see what people said about when it is ok to start letting her sit on other people's laps and to be held by people who are close and who are not strangers to us.  Basically the consensus was that there is no exact time, but that it will be a long time (like at least 6 months), and even after it's been a while, it should still be done conservatively.

The reasoning behind this is because she has had nothing but caregivers that come and go and has nothing but change after change (3 orphanages, multiple hospital stays, and her move to us).  She will see people that come, especially people in our family that are close and come often, as other caregivers that come and go, if we aren't careful about making sure that they don't hold her, feed her, have her sit on our laps, etc....  This, though, also makes it seem more like we are just one of many caregivers, instead of her PRIMARY caregivers/parents.  She's had almost 6 years of change, so she doesn't know what permanent feels like.  She also doesn't get friend vs caregiver or caregiver vs mom and dad, who or how to trust, etc...  Because Ramya is at a higher risk of attachment disorder due to all of the moves and changes in her life, we have to be even more vigilant and careful.  Sometimes this may feel awkward, and sometimes it may be hard,  but the chance of having long-term issues will be less if we are really careful now, so that's big and worth it!

Here are some good articles on attaching with children who are adopted:

Good general tips....  http://www.rainbowkids.com/expertarticledetails.aspx?id=29

On adopting older children... http://adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1358

Tips for parents... http://e-magazine.adoption.com/articles/219/suggestions-for-parenting-the-older-adopted-child-with-attachment-issues.php


I am also learning that it is important for me to take better care of myself to be the momma I need to be to all 3 of my little ones.  For me, this means going to bed at an earlier time.  Before, I could go to bed at midnight or so, wake up at 7:30 or 7:45 with the kiddos, and feed great, even if I was woken up during the night.  Now, though, I have an extra one to wake me up at night, an extra one to wake me up early, and things just take longer and more energy.  I am totally ok with this, but I know it will be important to stay caught up on sleep, so my new goal is to be in bed by about 10:30 (9 more minutes before I have to go to bed... I better hurry!!), at least until the newness of this all has settled and the jet-lag is far behind me :).

Next week our doctor appointments start and I am excited to get a little more feedback on what we can do to help Ramya.  I'm so thankful we have a good team of doctors ready for her!