My Day Meeting Ramya

Meeting Ramya went very well, just like I was praying it would.  She is such a little sweet angel.  Once I picked her up, that was it, she really didn't want out of my arms much, which makes this momma's heart happy!

They said Ramya has been asking and waiting for me since they have started telling her that I was coming.  They said she was very very excited to hear that I was on the way.  Oh boy do I know that feeling ;).

We played quite a bit, and the kiddos LOVED the gifts we brought them.  Most kids were at school, so we only got to give a small amount gifts (we left the rest for them to hand out.  They said they will likely use a lot for birthday gifts for children), but their little face just lit up!  The orphanage workers were very thankful for their gifts as well, and were happily dividing them out to each person.  They were all very excited and supportive.

It is traditional for them to hand-feed the children for meals.  I fed Ramya, as is great for bonding/attachment and I didn't want to pass up that moment.  I have been holding her as much as possible and we cuddled all last night.  I know we still have a very long journey to attaching, and that things will change when the kids are around, but I am thankful for these moments we have now.

I had brought Ramya a little green sippy cup with butterflies on it.  Oh boy was she excited!  The other kids were very enthralled by it, so she kept hiding it in my lap so they couldn't take it.  She was so excited to have her own cup she must have drank 2 or 3 full cups full worth of water!

Ramya kept asking me to take her to the window.  Once I got her there, she kept pointing out and trying to climb out (it had bars).  I asked her if she wanted to leave and I got a very excited "YES!".  I took her upstairs to ask if I could take her home and they asked if I thought she wanted to go. I told them yes, so they asked her if she wanted to go.  She very quickly told them "yes", and started waving and telling them "bye".  They all laughed and said that they can tell she is eager to leave and that it was ok for me to take her.  They asked if I wanted to leave her so that I could sleep and I told them no, that I would be too sad to sleep anyway.  That answer made them happy, so off we went to pack.

I am SO thankful that they let me take her yesterday.  I know that normally they stay 2-3 days before they let you take her, so I am thanking God big time for that little gift of time.  It breaks my heart to think of the years she sat alone in the orphanage, and though one day is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it meant the world to me!

On the way home we stopped at the market for some fruit and snacks.  I wanted to get her things she was used to eating.  She was very very excited when she realized that I was letting her keep the snacks and that she got to eat them.  Her favorite was some kind of little vanilla yogurt smoothie.  She loved that thing! 

Once we got back to Amanda's friend (and mine now too!) Nicole's house (we are staying with her while in Bangalore), I showed her some of her new things.  She was very excited.  She really loves taking pictures, and really loves looking at pictures on my phone as well.  What she loved the most, though, was one of her new dresses.  She lit up and had the HUGEST smile on her little face.  It was so sweet.  She kept saying, "wow, wow!!".  I put it on her and showed it to her in the mirror and she was just beaming.  I love seeing how much these little things bring her joy.

Ramya speaks more English than I was expecting.  Most orphanage workers spoke English, so I think they have been talking with her.  Her teacher also came to say hi to us, so I think she worked with her as well.  Ramya seems very bright, so I know she will pick up on it quickly.  She still calls me "auntie" which is what they call adults they feel close to, but I know one day soon she will start calling me mom.

Today we head back to the orphanage to get her paperwork.  I've tried explaning we were just visiting, so I hope she doesn't get upset going back in.  I plan to wear her in the Ergo so she understands that I am not letting her go!  After that we will do a little shopping, nap, and then head to the airport for a flight to Delhi.  Tomorrow we will see the doctor, Sunday we will rest/shop/see the sights, then Monday back to the doctor, then to the embassy.  Tuesday morning we go back to the embassy, then Wednesday morning (like 1 am!!) we head home.  We still haven't heard back from the travel doctor about our appointment, so I'm praying that will all line up ok.  That is one thing you can join us in prayer for, as well as safety for the kids and David, for our travels, and a smooth attachment process. 

Oh, we also skyped with David and the kids last night.  Oh boy were they THRILLED to see Ramya.  Oh my goodness, it was so sweet!  I can't wait for them all to meet and pray that they do well together.  I know the transition will likely be hard and that there may be some tough moments ahead, but I also rest assured that God will bring us through.

Here are some photos from the orphanage visit:

Driving in India is just how you would expect!  I think I had maybe 25 near-death experiences ;).  Ok, not quite that many, but it is interesting for sure!

 

This is about how full the cars normally are:

 

I don't know why, but I found this sign entertaining.

 

And there she is!!! 

 

 

 

She loved holding my hands and playing with my fingers.

 

Amanda and Ramya's best friend, Dena, took well to each other.  Dean is SUCH a sweet little girl, so desperatly wanting a home of her own.  She has weak bones and cannot stand unassisted, but that doesn't slow her down! I wish I could scoop her up and bring her home with me.  Someone PLEASE adopt this sweet little angel!

 

Talking and getting to know each other

 

Ramya showing off her walking for me.

 

Lunch time!

 

GOOD-BYE orphanage!

 

Our first car ride together.  She did well, but wanted my arms around her tight for the trip :).

 

 

I wish I could read her mind to see what is going on in there.  She hasn't stopped smiling since this morning and has a beautiful little smile, full of joy!

 

 





 

The Moment I Have Been Waiting For!

 

Our India Trip Thus Far

We have arrived!

 

We have been on 3 planes and were in the air for about 24 hours.

 

We slept very little, but tried.

 

Got in at about 1:00 am and got settled at about 3 am.

 

In about an hour we head out to the orphanage to meet my sweet girl for the first time!

 

I have so many emotions going through my mind right now, as I am sure you can imagine.

 

I will update soon with photos!

 

 

 

Leaving Phoenix:

 

 

Off we go!

 

Reading my journal from my mommas

 

Hello France!

 

Cheers!

 

Mush anyone??

 

Almost there!

 

In Bangalore!!!  AH!



We are blessed, just SO blessed!

I am feeling so overwhelmingly blessed at the moment and I just had to share.

We are just so very blessed to have an amazing support system of people who love us.  We have so many people encouraging us, praying for us, and helping us along this journey, and I really cannot express in words how much it means to us and how deeply everyone has touched our lives.  We've received so much love and support, I feel like my little heart is ready to burst (in a good way!!!).

I am thankful for those of you who are going to help care for my children while I am away.  We have great therapists, a wonderful respite worker, family having the kids over for dinner, an amazing friend from church coming to help with the kids daily, and the list goes on (and on!).  We so much family, so many friends, so many people at Church helping us.  Our village is just plain amazing! 

Another group I am very thankful for is my local mom's group (it is an attachment parenting group). I have walked this journey of parenting with so many amazing moms and there friendship has meant so much over the years.  On Saturday, they had a little luncheon for me and everyone gave me a bead that reminded them of our journey and told me how adoption/our adoption has touched their lives (you can bet I needed tissues).  My friend Mary turned it in to a bracelet for me to wear to India so that I could feel their love and support on my travels. My friend Marissa also gave me a necklace she made herself to reflect our adoption journey and our upcoming travels.  It is beautiful and it will also be coming with me to India.  Tonight Marissa, came to the door with an absolutely beautiful journey full of photos and notes from my mom  friends, as well as some spots for me to journal about the upcoming trip and add photos of the trip.  I am just so blown away.  I cannot think of a more touching or thoughtful thing to do (you can bet when I read it I will need tissues again ;)).  It even came with starbucks cards to get me through airport travel and a few goodies for Ramya and the trip home.  I am feeling so loved!

So to each and every one of you thinking of us and praying for us, texting us, emailing us, facebooking us, I know it may not seem like a lot to you, but it really means the world to us.  We love and appreciate you!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, it's only a day away!!

Ah!  I'm going to India tomorrow!  I can't believe it!  Our adoption journey has been a long one, with many ups and downs, but God has been there every step of the way and I have really seen His hand in how it has all played out.  I am just so thankful that the time has finally come!

There has been a lot of crazyness around here these last few days, but I've really tried to focus on spending time as a family as well.  I took Madi to get her nails painted for the first time at the nail salon (green of course) and that was fun.  We've cuddled and watched movies together, sat on the floor and played together, and of course, there have been many hugs and kisses.  I've told the kids many stories of how this time will go, to try and ease their nervousness.  Tonight I bathed the kiddos, washed their hair, clipped their nails, and cuddled them to sleep in my bed so that I can be close to them tonight.  Tomorrow morning I'll get up a little early, get ready, and then head to the airport.  The plan is to leave at 8:45 to get there about 9:20ish, as our plane leaves at 11:20 (Thanks Tony for taking me!  You're a good big brother!!).

I've checked and double-checked to try and make sure I have everything I need.  I am really praying that everything just falls in to place and that somewhere amongst the craziness we get to rest.  Please keep my family in your prayers.  I will do my best to upload photos and videos on here, so check in often :).  We won't see Ramya until Thursday (India time), though, as we have a huge flight (24 hours about total) and lose a day getting there because of the time change. 

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has been walking this journey with us, who prays for us, and who loves and supports us.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to us to have you in our lives. 

Now let's get my girl HOME!!!

We have a plan!

Today was crazy.  Frustrating.  Stressful.  Busy.  BUT, it will be worth it.  Soon Ramya will be in my arms and THAT is what matters!

Today I spent probably over 3 hours on the phone with airlines (made travel plans that had to be changed), went to the travel doctor to get a typhoid shot, homeschooled, prepped 3 extra dinners to freeze, worked on packing, played with the kids, went shopping at walmart for necessities for the trip, got sandals from Old Navy for the trip, arranged care for the kids while I'm gone (THANK YOU Micah and Amy!!!), talked to our adoption lady at WACAP probably 4-5 times, printed more paperwork, made more copies, wrote down a daily schedule for David, and I can't even remember the rest.

Taking a deep breath now.

Travel is set for Tuesday, February 5th at 11:20 am.  We will spend Thursday and Friday all day at the orphanage.  We will leave Friday night for Delhi, see the doctor in Delhi on Saturday, see the doctor in Delhi again on Monday, go to the Embassy Monday, go back on Tuesday for her passport/visa, and leave for home on the 13th.  That is IF we can get it all timed out perfectly.  There is a chance all return flights will have to be changed (again) to bring us home Thursday.  Please join us in praying for smooth sailing with booking appointments and that we will get to leave Wednesday and not change flights again.

I can't even begin to explain how I am feeling.  I am very excited, VERY stressed, anxious, overwhellmed, worried, busy, exhausted, and I could go on and on. 

BUT God is good.  My baby is coming home.  It will all be ok.  It will all work out just like it is supposed to. It always does!

India Questions Answered

We've had a lot of questions about our India travel, so I thought I'd attempt to answer them here :).

When do you travel?

Our goal is to leave next Thursday.  That would put us in Bangalore early Saturday morning (1 am ish) and we could then visit Ramya on Saturday and Sunday at the orphanage, hoping to be released with her on Monday.  We would travel to Delhi on Monday, see the doctor Tuesday, see the doctor Thursday, go to the embassy Thursday afternoon, and travel out Friday.  We would get back Saturday.  We are using a travel agency in India because if we have any problems with travel or need to change a date, they will be easiest to get ahold of, since the time will be the same once we are in India.  It takes a little longer to book travel this way, so we are awaiting the itinerary to approve and book.

What can I do to help?

Pray.  That's the biggest thing I can think of!  Pray for sweet Ramya who is getting uprooted to a foreign land by people who look different, talk differently, smell differently, and are complete strangers.  Pray for a quick adjustment and no attachment issues.  Pray for safe travel for me, Amanda (my friend coming with me), and Ramya.  Pray for safety for David and the kids while I am away.  Pray for them to have an easy time while I am gone.  Pray for no sickness.

Invite the David and the kids over for dinner.  We have decided not put together a meal calendar for while I am gone.  I will be preparing some meals over the next few days.  I have also bought more "processed" type foods (like gluten-free chicken nuggets, nitrate-free hot dogs, etc....) that I would not normally buy, so that there are easy things to cook in the house.  David would love to get out of the house with the kids, though, and would love dinner invites.  We do eat gluten and dairy free, but some ideas for food are hamburgers (no cheese, wrapped in lettuce), hot dogs (no bun), tacos (corn tortillas), grilled chicken or steak, fish or chicken breaded in corn flakes or the such, spaghetti made with gluten-free pasta, etc.....  I know our families will have them over as well.

When can I meet Ramya?

The answer to this really is, "I don't know!"  It will really depend on how she is doing and how attachment is going.  We are trying to build our family.  As of right now, Ramya has little concept of "family", or "attachment".  She doesn't know me more favorably than any other female, nor David than any other male.  We will try to keep contact with other people to a minimum for a while.  It is best for our family not to have people in and out of the house for a while.  We know this will be hard, as we are excited to show her off, but it is what is best for our family, as we build our family.  Additionally, we ask that when you do come visit, you do not try to hold/hug/etc... Ramya.  If she tries to hug you, please gently re-direct her to me.  It is important that she learns that I am mom and the one to go to.  Feel free to say hi, smile, wave, etc... though!!  Children will often easily go to anyone for attention, but this is a sign that they are not understanding who to attach to.  Here's a good read about this:  http://www.rainbowkids.com/articledetails.aspx?id=530.  To highlight a few points...

Minimize your child's exposure to anyone outside the family for the first few weeks . Let no one else hold the baby except the parents, even at the airport on your triumphant arrival home!! Isolate yourselves with your new child at home for the first week or two, with as few visitors as possible. Do not let visitors hold your baby. If family members want to help, ask them to bring meals, do shopping and errands, or clean the house. If challenged, say the social worker or doctor advised this early isolation.

 

Focus on building attachment in these early weeks at home.

• Mom should do as much of the baby care as possible, to establish the primary bond.
• She should hold and interact with the baby when feeding him or her. Do not allow your baby to bottle-feed by holding the bottle alone. This is a key bonding activity, where the mother should be offering the food and maintaining eye contact. When the baby is eating solids, the mother should always feed him or her herself. Do not encourage early independence in self-feeding. Hold your baby on your lap if possible, with eye contact. If the baby must be in a high chair, keep him or her very close to you, between parents if possible, and touch your baby often, use lots of eye contact and conversation. If your child insists on self-feeding, play interactive, reciprocal feeding games - you put a Cheerio in her mouth, she puts one in your mouth.
• Lots of physical contact is very important. Mom should hold and carry the baby as much as possible. Cuddle, caress, stroke and rock. Gentle wrestling and tickling are fine if not over-stimulating. Cuddling your baby with eye contact while rocking her or him in a rocking chair is very beneficial. Use a baby sling or cloth carrier (Snuggly, Baby Bjorn etc) to carry her or him facing inwards against your body, wear your baby all day while you go about household tasks, or out shopping or walking.

Though Ramya is older (5), we will still be doing many of these things to build attachment (wearing her, feeding her, rocking her, etc....).

We love you all and love that you are sharing in our joy, and we will happily show Ramya off once we are settled and have worked a bit on attachment and bonding.  We appreciate your understanding and support with helping us build our famly!

Please also be forgiving of me when I am bad at returning texts/calls/e-mails etc... I am going to be exhausted and overwhellmed, and I will greatly appreciate your grace during this time!  I promise, it's not personal, we just have a LOT going on right now!

Why is David not going with you?

David and I decided it was best for one parent to be here with Conner and Madi.  After Madi's seizures, we did not complete her necessary immunizations to go to India, as we did not want to possibly cause more seizures (her first was after getting the MMR vaccine, though she was also coming down with hand-foot-and-mouth disease).  We also worry about how to handle medical emergencies in India.  We decided it was best if the kiddos did not go.  However, because of Madi's medical needs (cathing, medication, seizures, possible hospital stays, doctors appointments, therapies), we decided it would be best for one parent to stay with them.  We contemplated having my parents watch them, but that would mean medical power of attourney, etc..., as we would be 22 hours away if an emergency happened.  We felt better having one parent stay for these reasons.  Because David does not like traveling, new situations, etc..., we decided it was best for me to go.

Who is going with you?

My amazing friend, Amanda, is coming with me to India.  Though she has not been to Bangalore and Delhi, she has traveled numerous times to India with her husband (who is from India).  I am so very thankful and excited to have her traveling with me!!

How old is Ramya?

Ramya is 5.  Her birthday is March 7th, so she is almost 6.  Madi is 4 and Conner is 6, just for an idea of how the kiddo's ages fall.

Can Ramya speak English?

Probably not much!  She knows some basic vocabulary as far as we know, but not much more than that.



That's all I can think of for now.  Please let me know if you have any questions and I will try to answer them!